Keeping it real

There are times in life when the glaring truth of reality seems like a red-eyed demon waiting to hunt you, hold you down and keep you in the trenches until you blink.  This morning, that red-eyed demon was my scale.  As I looked down at the neon blue numbers mocking me in their smugness, I had 30 seconds of panic.  Pure anxiety surged through my body and kept me paralyzed.  I could only stare at those neon  numbers and try to figure out how it all got so out of hand.  When did I lose count?  Which _________ (insert  cookie, cupcake, pizza, chip or any other calorie laden “comfort” food) pushed me over the edge?  How did I get to this point?  Then reality slapped me back.  Reality is mean.  It’s that cold-hearted bitch of a girlfriend that tells you like it is, not sugar coating the truth with butter cream frosting that lets you live in the land of fairies and no – calorie cupcakes. You know exactly which friend I’m talking about.  You love  her to death because she is who she is, but every now and then, you just wish she would sweeten it up a little. Yeah, that one.  That’s what reality is and today I really wish it wasn’t quite so…well…real.

After 30 seconds I shook myself off, wiped away the tears, took a deep  breath and gave myself one hell of a pep talk.  I’m  not sure why that number shook me so hard, it’s  not like I haven’t seen myself lately and told the stranger staring back at me that it was time to change.  Really? Time to? How about beyond time!  But there was always, and will always be, a reason to delay…a holiday, work is stressful, kids are stressful, no time to plan…I could go on for days with excuses.  I have gone on for days with excuses!  Now it’s  time for reality and I to get close.  Even though I just can’t seem to write down that neon blue number, I’m here, starting my journey for anyone to see.  Like thousands of people before me that have traveled  this journey, some successfully  and others still going, I know that it’s not going to happen overnight, I know it’s going to be hard, take more than lifestyle change and exercise, that it’s going to be gut wrenching at times and highest highs sometimes, and I know there are going to days that I slip up.  And that’s ok.  Every single day is a new day, and right now I’m going to focus on keeping it real one day at a time!

So, Mr. red-eyed Demon, bring it on!  Let’s  see who blinks first!